Posts Tagged ‘love’

Conversation with the Beloved

I said: “I will become the lover and you will become the beloved”

You glanced with kindness: “Are you sure?”

I said: “You’ll see”

You said: “I will be the lover, you the beloved”

I said: “No don’t say that … I’ll get upset”

You said: “You’ll see”

I said: “Doesn’t matter, you the lover and me the beloved or the other way around, let’s begin”

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07 2011

The Art of Loving Your Baby

“Does your baby sleep through the night?”
“Is she a good baby?”
“Does she let you put her down?”
“Will she let other people hold her?”

These questions are constantly asked to new mothers. Whenever somebody asked me if my new, innocent, vulnerable baby was “good,” I often wondered what a “bad” baby would be.

It took me awhile to understand that we live in a world where adults expect babies and children to be seen and not heard. The “good” baby was one who rarely cried, slept through the night, exhibited social behavior, laughed in the arms of strangers, and did not ask too much of their mothers. Throughout the 20th century, health and child care professionals advised mothers not to “spoil” babies by responding to their cries. We have been told that babies manipulate their mothers and that we should not “give in” to their “demands” or else they will try to control us.

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08 2010