‘Don’t worry, third time around you’ll have a boy’

To Allah belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth.
He creates what He wills.
He bestows female (offspring) upon whom He wills,
and bestows male (offspring) upon whom He wills.

The Holy Qur’an, Surah Ash Shura, ayat 49

 

Man is surely a selfish creature. Never satisfied with what he has, he is always on the search for more and more.

We are told to always think of those who have less than us. Thinking of this will teach us to be thankful.

I recently had my second daughter a few months ago and while I am blessed to have given birth to a healthy and happy child, there was a time when she was still in utero that I had a desire for a boy. I tried to push this thought aside because all every parent wants is a healthy and sound baby. But we are human, after all. And the human part of me wanted a little boy because I already had a girl.

When I had my ultrasound and found out it was a girl, I had to ask, “Are you sure?” The technician said, “Yes, pretty much.” A part of me was a bit disappointed but that feeling quickly subsided as I began thinking of names and started getting giddy at the thought of buying dresses and cute accessories again. Girls always are more fun to dress up.

After we told a few relatives, one comment stuck with me: “Don’t worry. The third time will be a boy.” The part that took me by surprise was not that someone was already planning (and guaranteeing) the gender of my offspring when the second hadn’t even made her debut, but that they assumed I was worried.

“I’m not worried,” I said. “I’m happy I’m having a girl.”

To which this relative said, “Oh yes, well a girl should always have a sister.”

Unfortunately too often we get caught up in these tiny things of boys and girls, or do you own or rent a home, how much do you earn, etc. They are material, yes, but the problem lies not in that we run after material things. The problem is that we are running after things that are definite. A car will eventually break down. Our children will eventually pass, as will we. People lose jobs.

Instead we should focus on the infinite – like God’s pleasure and mercy. The Holy Qur’an has many references to loving wealth and children.

Allah says that our wealth and children are a test for us.

Your wealth and your children are only a trial, whereas Allah with Him is a great reward (Paradise). (Surah At-Taghabun, ayat 15)

This ayat begs the question: Are we using these both as a ways of gaining nearness to Allah, or are we making them a means for getting closer to Hell?

Because we are human, it is natural to want more and have material desires. But we should be able to bring ourselves back to reality without learning the hard way.

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About The Author

Samira Zaidi

Samira B. Rizvi was born and raised in Houston, Texas and is a former copy editor and web producer for the Houston Chronicle. She has a degree in print journalism from the University of Houston, where she also worked as an opinion columnist. Rizvi was awarded a Dow Jones Newspaper Fund copy editing internship in 2003 and a Hearst Newspapers Fellowship in 2004. She has worked at four different newspapers around the country - the Houston Chronicle, the Midland Daily News in Midland, Michigan, the Albany Times-Union in Albany, N.Y., and the Beaumont Enterprise in Beaumont, Texas. Recently having been laid off, Rizvi is using this opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom. She also has a passion for writing and currently blogs for MomHouston.com.

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12 2011

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  1. 1

    Jazakallah khair for this awesome and much needed post!

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